From Dublin, for the Last Time

    

This is pretty much what I've been listening to on this trip. When I had a chance to choose my music, this was often it. I hope you find something you like! Enjoy!

By the time you read this, I'll be on a plane, over the Atlantic ocean, on my way home. Wow. Expect some aftershock posts to come.

     Closing remarks, that's sort of what this is going to be. Are you sad? Because I am very sad! It breaks my heart to think that I'll no longer be "Just three hours from London by train!" or just around the corner from a good patisserie, a ten minute walk to the river Seine, or the river Liffey, or the river Thames, and that I won't be able to pop into just any store and pick some Kinder, or a Mars bar, I can't throw some coins into a machine in the Metro and get a two pack of Beuno, and I can't walk into a McDo with a coupon from the bus and get a whole meal for two pounds, and have it actually taste delicious!
 
  I am trying to be really excited about going home..but I'm not. I'm excited to see my family and friends, sure, and I'm excited to take real warm showers and paint my nails and have regular access to a laundry machine...but I've gotten used to showering less often, restyling grimy travel wear, getting ready for the day in two minutes because there isn't a mirror around and it doesn't matter anyway. I've enjoyed the true concentration it takes to have a conversation with someone who you can't understand, and have learned better than to mentally convert your purchases back into USD (it's always scary!). I've stayed out late and stayed in all day, taken trains, planes, metro cars, trams, buses, moving walkways and bikes; my feet have stood on thousand year old marble floors, velvet from Louis XIV's time, cobblestone streets that millions of people have walked, and wooden bathroom floors through which you can see the salon below.
 
      And even though I am anticipating absolute devastation when I return to America, and I fully expect to cry on the plane, I am really looking forward to life! I'm excited to see how what I've learned, how I've lived and listened and waited and watched and talked, here, will change how I do those things when I "return" to my "regular" life. I don't think I am capable of having a "regular" life, especially not after I've seen what I've seen and heard what I've heard and stood where I stood. What about it all was so spectacular, you ask? Well, none of it. What I saw was thousands of people living different lives and doing different things and thinking different ways, just because they could, or because their parents did, or because they wanted to! I saw people chase dreams and lose hope and find love and break hearts, I saw some of the wealthiest people I might ever see, as well as some of the most poverty stricken. I smelled a perfume worth over 5,000 Euro, and the piss filled staircases of the Seine, and none of it was shocking, because it was all just how life is.

     And all of this got me thinking, what if..what if I thought like that, what if I dressed like that, what if I talked like that, what if I made those sorts of choices? I questioned EVERYTHING, about everything I knew and saw and thought and wanted.  And you know what I discovered? I really can be anything I want.
And this trip really did open my eyes the way everyone says things like this do.
And I really do feel like a changed person, now.
And I really do feel more fulfilled and sure of myself.
And I really do want to return, big time.
And it really was magic.
And it really was worth every single cent I paid for airfare, food, clothes, souvenirs, and school. Every euro cent, penny, and pence. (Thanks, Mom and Dad, for helping me out here).

     And while I was here, and everywhere, I reevaluated who I am, and who I want to be, and what I want to work on. I have new goals for myself and new standards for myself, and new projects. (psst I've started TWO books...shhhh)

     So. I don't really know how to go home, I've never had to do it before. I am ten times more afraid to return as I was to go. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I left. No idea how much I could learn. And knowing what I've accomplished for myself...I feel armed and ready but no idea what I'm shooting at.
Here goes nothing.

Welcome to Ireland, now..go home?? :(

     So you may recall I lost quite a bit of weight while I was in France...about twenty pounds and I didn't really have to do anything except live the way I was. Well, I've been in Ireland for about 36 hours now and I've gained back ten of it. Thanks, Dublin, you devil.

     Would you like to know THE NUMBER ONE REASON THE UK IS BETTER THAN THE USA? I'll tell you. it's quite simple really, but it's the most incredible thing, and no matter how the USA tries to duplicate it, it will never be as good. This thing, that I'm about the tell you, is THE reason I'm considering skipping my flight tomorrow (if I had to choose just one reason). This thing, is Primark. PRIMARK, people/. PPPRRRRRIIIMMMAAAARRRRK!!!!! The land of shopping heaven. Seriously. Everything you could ever wanted for any even possible, decent enough quality, and just for what you'd spend on lunch. Seriously. I've spent over ten hours in Primark and I've only been in the UK for a week, and I've only spent about 50 bucks here, because I keep forcing myself to put things back. (space in my suitcase is the best motivator so far). I am crying (...inside...of course) about leaving the land of Primark. So if anyone knows anyone who lives in the UK and would be willing to go shopping for me a few times a year...I'd love to chat! 

     I've been eating a ton (ok..this might be the actual reason for the first paragraph...whatever), basically anything I can get my hands on  that isn't American, I'll eat. I think it's some sort of ridiculous way to keep myself here, like, if I don't fit on the plane...I have to stay, right? Or maybe, it's because I'm hoping if I continue to ingest bits of Ireland and England, they'll stay in my system after I've left the country. I'm not really thinking, honestly, just shoveling. What, am I shoveling? Mars Bars. Picnic bars (The ONLY Cadbury I like). Maynards Wine Gums, Strawberry-Pear-Vanilla ice cream bars, Mint Matchmakers Mcflurries, BigMacs (they're amazing here), fish n chips, bangers and mash, coke, ham sammies with coleslaw inside, Srawberry flavored volcanic water,  and fake peppermint mentos. OK, yeah, I know it's all junk food. Shut up. It's delicious.

One thing I HAVEN'T eaten yet, but I mean, really, they're so inviting! I might...

     I'm sort of just wandering around, getting lost on purpose, running into things and people and scuffing up my shoes, anything to magically extend my time here, to take it all in, to make the most of my final hours. Tonight I'm going to sit on the river, eat digestives and drink an 80cent can of shandy, nasty as it is, because there is something so magical about the idea of leaving where I began, as if by somehow completing the cycle, I'm setting it in motion for next time, so that it isn't a time line with starts and stops but a real cycle. One can hope.

So long, Dublin, thanks for helping me get started and round off. I won't forget yeh yet.

One last lovely look up the Liffey from O'Connell Street

A London Bite

Surprise, I'm in London! I arrived bleary eyed and sleep deprived Monday morning at 5am after a very tiresome bus trip. After that, I hauled my 70lb baggage about 3 miles to my hostel, which I quickly discovered is an awful place to spend a week. The whole place smells, and I'm pretty sure the main culprit in my room is in the bed above me. This mystery person is ALWAYS in bed, no matter what time of day or night I pop into my room, someone is in there. Today, I went to change after a long morning walk and a random man in black climbed down from the bed and removed the sheets....so now I'm a bit confused.
On my way to my hostel I crossed Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens, both of which are beautiful right now. For it being December, I'm surprised at the total lack of white. Not so much as a frost going on, though I did spy a few snow flakes yesterday!

Scenes from Hyde Park/ Kensington Gardens, seriously beautiful.  

I "live" just down the road from Oxford Street, which is seriously...mad. Not only is the traffic crazy, but the shopping, I have NEVER seen shopping like this. Every British store I've ever heard of is on this street, usually more than once! There is probably 7 Starbucks, 5 McDonalds, 3 Pret A Manger's, 10 Boots', and two or three each H&M, Urban Outfitters, Primark, La Senza, HMV, and more!! And all within..idk, less than half a mile probably. SO MUCH SHOPPING. I am, of course, a poor college student so I can't actually partake in the shopping, but I did take a very lustful peruse through Primark while picking up a few things for Christmas gifts.

Wandering through Notting Hill and I found my favorite dead person! :)

Can we just appreciate for a moment that my nail polish chipped into a tree?!?! :D Also, that is some serious knuckle pudge goin' on.

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The above was written on day two of me being in London, the rest of this post is written in Dublin, so don't you be gettin' mad about me changing tenses on you, k?
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I went to see a showing of Les Mis, specifically to see Carrie Hope Fletcher perform as Eponine. She is a girl I have followed online for a while now and is a huge role model to me, so seeing her perform was a dream come true. Sneaky Janice...I accosted an usher (..twice..) about how to catch the actors after the show and he told me exactly which door to leave from, how quickly I needed to walk down the stairs, and even turned a blind eye when I magically appeared in a seat much closer to the important exit, and also much more expensive than the one I purchased (Which is dumb, because you could only see half the stage in my new seat..) Basically, I had an amazing night, ended up being able to meet Carrie, talk to her, get a hug, an autograph, and a great photo, and yes, the show was amazing as well.

Meeting the one person I was praying to meet this trip. Seeing someone you respect in person, and having them be REAL...that is a life changing experience, and I think the whole trip was worth it, just for those 5 minutes in Wardour Ave.

I did quite a bit of wandering this week, though all in Central London. I saw most all the major sites once or twice, and I really enjoyed my time :)

Westminster, London Eye, Nelson Tower (Trafalgar Square), National Gallery, Blue Chicken...didn't read the plaque, it's at Trafalgar as well! Picadilly Circus, and again, looking down Regent Street, Selfridges! 

I ate most of my meals at McDonalds, showered in a room that was speckled with mold and smelled of warm ham, and walked a fresh set of blisters and sores into my body. But the people I met made it all worth it, they reminded me that life isn't about the things you can check off your list, it's about the moments built into getting there, and the people who came along. Everyone said I would love London, and (typical Janice...) I then set out to hate it, just to prove them wrong, but I couldn't. It was an amazing few days, worth every creak in the bedframe, and every blister on my feet and hands. Until next time, London, goodnight !

London..keeping it real-Flu Jabs